The manic ride, friendships and other musings

I was inspired to start a blog to articulate some of the things that pass through my mind, to describe what it’s like being a parent with a need of kids with different needs and to work on re-kindling my writing. A friend from high school was the one who inspired me. She wrote a blog article for me about being thankful for having a friend who understands a lot of the same complexities.

I’ve thought about friendships a lot lately. I’ve thought about them to the point that they have kept me up at night, even crying myself to sleep because I don’t have a lot of friends. I cherish the few true friends and relationships that I do have. I am very thankful for those that have stuck by me and understand how complicated I can be. I, often, feel I don’t understand many people.

 

I even have a hard time relating to my own children and husband sometimes. It’s like I can’t wrap my head around other people’s feelings or actions all the time. Is that a lack of empathy or sympathy? I’m not sure.

My oldest has ADHD, SPD, mild delays, anxiety, a chromosome duplication and is to re-evaluated for an NVLD (non-verbal learning disorder). Ever since the developmental assessment showed that they want to re-evaluate in an year for an NVLD, I’ve been thinking about my own interactions with people and how I learn. A non-verbal learning disorder affects social interactions and cues, conceptual thinking, visual spatial skills, and motor skills. I could be reading too far into things and just looking to ease the guilt or understand why my child is the way he is, but those things resonate with me.

It’s never easy to accept the things you can’t change. I can’t control what genetics are passed on in the womb.
I’ll get to take a closer look at my own pretty soon.
Not only have I already cycled through a hypomanic phase, but I’ve been to see the GI and have to get two GI tests done and genetics testing.
The GI and I are hoping that these things will get to the bottom of my inability to keep weight on me and determine the reasoning behind my GI issues, possibly linking them to genes that affect my boys and their feeding/GI issues.

I get one procedure done in about 2 weeks.

I, also, now have to manage 6 therapies a week plus my own appointments.
I have next week booked full. I meet my new counselor who is willing to let Clark come with me to appointments. I have psychiatry on Monday and I’m sure she will be thrilled about my cycling since I haven’t refilled my meds.
I’ve been a yelling/screaming, irritable mess lately.

At least I’ve managed to accomplish things and I still have wine in the fridge.

Whenever I have time to write another post, hopefully I can update my meal plan. I’ve actually been sticking to it. 🙂

20 days until Christmas!

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One thought on “The manic ride, friendships and other musings

  1. A yelling, screaming mess is quite common for me so you are not alone in this. And the relating to other people is nearly unfathomable to me. It seems like we run in two different worlds and I’m looking through the glass at them. We’ll stick together and just assume everyone else is weird.

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