When everything is suddenly overwhelming

I’ve had many bad days. I’ve had many good days. These days I can seem to only remember the days in between. I guess you can call today one of those days. It wasn’t a bad day, but the last part of today was just exhausting and irritating.

I picked up J2 from school, after a quick Target run and lunch with Clark, then we all headed to his psychiatry appointment. I have learned being stationed Remote that I have to make sure before the appointment that our Tricare authorization has been received or is still valid. Most of these civilian providers have no clue how to operate with Tricare. I had requested weeks ago to have Tricare change over J’s referral to the correct provider. The rep on the phone told me that it would be changed and faxed over. Upon arriving at the appointment I found out that never happened. I should have known because I didn’t receive an updated authorization in the mail. So I had to spend over 20 minutes on the phone with a rep, who had to transfer me to a Supervisor, to get the information changed, approved and in process of being faxed over. While I waited for the office to receive the new authorization, the boys started fighting. It was mostly J who was sure that Clark was after his Mega Blocks. He threw a major fit when he couldn’t carry all the blocks back over to the table and Clark was trying to crawl after him. Then Clark was climbing on all the chairs and trying to throw dirt out of a plant. Finally they let J get his vitals done and us sit in a room until the authorization was received. It was only supposed to take 10 minutes to fax over. The room we were in was so hot. Both kids were climbing, fighting, screaming etc. Finally after waiting another 30 minutes, I called Tricare back to see what was the problem, having to talk over a screaming toddler, and due to some hold up it wasn’t faxed over. So I had to give the office the authorization info, which I’m not sure why I couldn’t have done that 30 minutes ago.

Then we got J’s meds changed to a non-stimulant, grabbed hubby some Taco Bell for a late lunch, picked up new meds and came home.  I let Joshua go play outside while I occupied Clark and cooked dinner. I had to feed Clark eggplant I fried up as I was cooking the rest of the dinner to keep him settled. Once it came time to eat, Clark didn’t eat much and was acting tired. So I put him to bed. Then I started getting Joshua ready. After that I came upstairs to start working on things that needed to be done.

Checking the bank
Updating Budget
Figuring out ABA cost share
Checking E-mail
Reviewing IEP laws about extent of non participation, shortened school days and educational diagnosis
Going over what I need for Clark’s Dr appointment and weight check tomorrow
Looking up a recipe for peanut butter oatmeal cookies for breakfast

My mind is just overwhelmed. My body is sore. My anxiety is heightening again.
I think about all the things that need to be done and not what I have accomplished. Already my mind is jumping to 9 a.m. when therapy starts tomorrow. It’s only 8:30 p.m.

I should be focusing on the fact that:

Clark tried to take a step but fell down and didn’t want to try again
Joshua is having a hard time regulating his emotions and is feeling isolated
Clark doesn’t want to use his tube, but is frustrated that he has to eat so much
Joshua wants to spend more time with me but I am always busy
Hubby is very unhappy at work
I am loosing sight of priorities.

I thought that PRIORITY was going to be my word this year. I fear that it will continue to be OVERWHELMED.






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